Stress is MOunting

Since the big occasion is on its way..with careful planning and some money saving...i think it will be soon enough.
I know that my paycheck is not that big but at least i still have a roof and food that kept me alive.
It just that, almost 5 years now i have work here, but the salary scheme has not change a bit.
My salary have not rose up since 2010. What to do, since most of my friends are already making some progress
with their new challenge, i also need to move on. Its not that i have not applied at any other company. However i believe that my luck has not arrive yet. I have been sending my CV to many companies starting in 2010 but so far no job or interviews were offered to me just yet. So keep fighting.

I am currently so tense with my work. I never like doing research which i think it is hard for me to cope. I know that the new Top Management is pushing us hard as hell. I am starting feeling the heat a little bit. With my COO is not at his usual mood whereas he is moody at times now. I have been scold often now which i am not bothered about since i know what kind of pressure he's in. If i was in his shoes, i think i would go crazy right away.

Now i am currently working on new project development which is a new chemical ( Classified)..hehe...So now it is in the 2nd stage of its trial run. Right now we are preparing to do a single end trial. I know so far we have only one major project and no other project is been done by me and the R&D team. My COO wants to see me after lunch to discuss what the hell is R&D project progress? I know i hate this work so much in fact that everyday i go to work with no enthusiasm. I am lack of fighting spirit right now. My pocket is almost empty and my bank account is like it has been robbed. 

so stress..i am signing out....

see yuo all later

Lagu Ombak Rindu–Hafiz/Adira

Adira :
Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku

Hafiz :
Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu hatinya untuk cintaku

Adira :
Malam kau bawalah rinduku
Untuk dirinya yang jauh dari ku
Agar dia tidak kesepian
Selalu rasa ada cinta agung

Hafiz :
Hujan bawa air mata ku
Yang mengalir membasuh luka ku
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku

Hafiz & Adira :
Hanya mampu terserah
Moga cahaya di penanti

Hafiz:
Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya

Adira:
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku

How Many Times

How many time i have hurt you
make you cry
make u sad
make you feel bad
make you feel awkward
I know i am a terrible lover but i am trying my hardest to make you smile and happy...
i always make you feel sad with my words and again you end up crying...
my words are the thorn that ripped your heart apart.
sometimes i never meant to say those words but that is me...
i am trying to change for our future together. i will change..
because the fact that i love you so much.
my love for you is pure and eternity.

sorry for being a jerk again and again...

wasalam.

Insya'Allah.....

insya'allah